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リズ~ [userpic]

Insomnia Inanity

December 24th, 2008 (03:03 am)

UGHHHHHHH. i want to sleeeeeep but i feel so grosssss for no reason in particular. i can't sleep when i feel this gross.

it's probably because i had complete shit instead of dinner but that was like 6 hours ago so wtf.


i contemplate cleaning my room but that's too hard, i just sort of want to lie in bed. but when i lie in bed i feel gross. WHATTTTTTTT.

why do my LJ posts consist largely of typed noises and drawn-out consonants or vowels? fuck my life.

リズ~ [userpic]

oh, thanksgiving

November 27th, 2008 (10:03 pm)

such a manufactured holiday, shouldn't be we thankful every day? that we're not like the homeless littering the NYC streets, or the mothers in Mumbai grieving over their murdered children. instead of meditating on our place in the world, we watch a parade. good thing for my conscience that i don't really have too much of one.

however, this holiday does give me a good opportunity to steal grey goose from the alcohol table while the family gathering's downstairs and sip it in my room while rereading deathly hallows. LOL MY LIFE.

リズ~ [userpic]

NYC- election night edition

November 5th, 2008 (05:47 pm)

hopped from times to rockefeller to union square last night between the hours of 9pm and 2am.

a wild cheer of thousands of people erupted in times sq at 11, after the news screens had counted down the closing of CA's elections, and it took a few seconds for me and brittany to understand why. the taxis were honking in a different way than most nights, not telling each other to hurry the fuck up you cunt but instead in a little rhythm of congratulations, america! and of course, everyone was smiling and high-fiving strangers, screaming as they passed and shared a moment with people they had never seen before in a city of a few million. illegal fireworks went off in brooklyn and i could hear the screaming of the crowds in union sq from my dorm 4 blocks away.

it was pretty unreal. i don't think i've ever felt so safe in the city, because although there was immense energy, it was, at least in all my encounters, extremely positive.  i don't think i've ever loved being a new yorker or being an american quite as much as last night.

リズ~ [userpic]

college, and some other stuff oh yeah

September 24th, 2008 (11:05 pm)

 LOL DRUNK LIVEJOURNAL POST THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!!!! i feel like it's a riht of passage. imean to leave this. typing is harder than one would think. i'm not bothering to fix typos. YAY COLLEGE.

I DON'T THINK I'M DRUNK enough to make th

...well that was an unfinished post from like 2 weeks ago. ohhhh god.

what i really came to talk to you about today is how ridic art school is, mostly represented by my 3D class:

Project 1 (complete and critiqued!!! ...positively)
Build a model, using an accurate floor plan, of a room in your daily life (i chose my laundry room) using nothing by cardboard/foam core, bristol board, and STRAIGHT PINS. must be interesting & viewable from all sides/angles.

but no mine turned out super-cool.i added a bit of a tim burton effect with monsters crawling out of the machines and hidden in the walls. wooo0ooo00ooo!

Project 2 (just...begun...)
Build a 3D representation of a fruit/vegetable (i chose garlic) entirely out of linear materials (meaning materials with basically no thickness, that can be laid out in a line) that represents both it's history and some element of it's structure (chemical, mathematical, etc.)


yes it's due next monday.


buuutttttt parsons critiques are really very positive and constructive, which is nice considering all the shit i've heard about risd ones...apparently they're merciless. although parsons is a poor man's risd. but not literally bcuz it's shit-expensive. :<

HOWEVER! this school is exactly like project runway, assignment/methodology/crit-wise. on the preview of next week's pr the judges make every one of the designers cry. TRU LYFE!!

リズ~ [userpic]


September 19th, 2008 (10:45 pm)





oh god my life.

リズ~ [userpic]


August 25th, 2008 (11:39 pm)

So. Just moved to NYC. Woooooooooow. I totally love it.

The first few days were hard, not knowing anyone, but I've since made friends to wander around the city and have pizza with. Sooooo tiring tho, just all the walking everywhere and all the not enough sleep due to college duties.

Tomorrow I have to pick up a giant art kit from downtown. Wooooooooo. God I should stop wasting time on LJ, lollll.

リズ~ [userpic]

College: Day 1

August 22nd, 2008 (10:58 pm)


Well, that's dramatic. There were definite highlights. It just sucks not knowing anyone.

What sucked more than not knowing anyone was saying goodbye. Saying goodbye to Russell was the hardest thing i've ever done in my life, without a doubt. I love him so much, I miss him so much already. I guess it will lessen, although part of me doesn't want it to because i want to love him with this same feeling forever. The city just isn't the same without the boy I love by my side, as cliche as that sounds. DAMN i miss him!!!

JESUSSSSS. the look on his face when i started walking away! it's not guilt, it's complete heartbreak!

anyway moving away from that because it's too sad, moving in was terrible too. ughhhhh what a long and exhausting process. i'm so over this orientation week shit, i just want to be back at home with russell, or else starting classes so that i'll be busy and make friends etc. etc.

also i have no idea how i'm going to have enough money to feed myself, jeez.GET A JOB DAMMIT!

リズ~ [userpic]

determined to feel that triumph

August 11th, 2008 (08:41 pm)

It's funny, looking back at the previous entry, because in the end I was the one who had to tell you that everything would be ok when I left. But I think that turned out better. It helped me understand the strength this would require, how I had to be what you needed just as you sometimes have to let me take out my frustration on you, what I need.

Well, all we really need is to be loved by each other, I think. What an old adage.

I can be stronger than what I was being, though. That's important to remember. I can indeed be strong enough to do what is required of me, whatever that may be. If I want something, and I know how to get it, I will get it.

That thought is empowering. Love toes the line between terrifying and blissful. For the bliss, strength is required. The terror only occurs when it becomes stronger than ourselves. I'm not talking control here, just willingness to do what is called for.

Lol, I don't even have any idea what I'm talking about anymore. I hope it makes some semblance of sense int he future.

リズ~ [userpic]

(no subject)

July 20th, 2008 (09:27 pm)

parents going out of town this week, kitchen to self, therefore must experiment:

just must buy cherries/raspberries/blueberries to go in it...

this, however, sounds really good:

NOW what i want isssssssssss i dunno! today was unequivocally a bore. i can use big words but i can't keep myself entertained for 18 hours. basically, useless.

icon is appropriate.

リズ~ [userpic]

i never used to like poetry.

June 15th, 2008 (11:06 pm)

Undying Love

When I am a skeleton,
flesh eaten away,
will you still brush your lips to my fingers-
the distal, middle, proximal phalanx,
bared, raw and sticky from rot, maggot excretion,
the stench like acid burning in the throat,
the ebony glistening and the eternal core of us.

When I am a skeleton,
decomposing in the soil,
will you still hold me close,
hug the curves of my ilium, sacrum bones,
lick as maggots spill out the hollows of my infested cheeks-
the few remaining teeth, the putrefied, blackened lips!
The soft imperfect parts of me that you endear.

When I am a skeleton,
a corpse, a bag of dry skin and wet marrow,
heartbeat long stalled in a chest of ice,
hair brittle, crawling with beetles that rival your impassioned hunger,
will you still whisper sweet nothings
into the rotten cartilage of my ears?

Death will be our decomposition or we will be already dead, long before.

...this is satire. please remember.